Part of the Process
May 22, 2009 9:28pm

As of May 2009 the Oklahoma Academy of Collaborative Professionals voted to make Coaches a intregal part of every collab divorce.  Now every client will have a coach to use.  The professionals decided this after weighing all the aspects, including the cost.  A coach is better able to handle the emotional roadblocks that surface in almost every divorce.  The attorneys are not equipped to deal with these emotions constructively.  Instead, the client will receive coaching immediately, and at a cheaper rate than the attorneys.  The client will obtain a better resolution of the entire divorce, and not just the legal side.  The client will get more out of their time with their attorney, since all that time will be productive. 


Tulsa has many qualified coaches.  See, Professionals link, Tulsa metro, and go to the bottom of the page for a listing of the coaches. 


When you hire me, I will talk to you about the different coaches, and look for the best fit for you.  They vary in cost from $120/hour to $175/hour.  The number of hours needed with a coach will depend on your needs.  Any way you look at it, they are cheaper than most attorneys.  Divorce is at least equally emotional as it is legal....many think more so.



Posted by Barbara Bartlett

Divorce coaches in the Tulsa area
May 21, 2009 2:42pm

An emotional divorce is something that no court, including the Tulsa divorce courts, are equiped to handle.  In the scheme of your life and happiness, this divorce is more important than how much money you will get.  That is why the collaborative divorce in Tulsa county often includes coaches. 

Divorce coaches help deal with all the normal feelings when a marriage ends.  You will need help redifining your family relationships.  You will need to learn to say good-by to old traditons, and make new ones.  Once your emotional divorce is addressed, then you would be surprised at how fast the  legal divorce can move ahead.

Posted by Barbara Bartlett

Why use a Coach in the Collaborative Divorce Process?
May 21, 2009 2:34pm

Why use a Coach in the Collaborative process?  To answer that question, you should first understand the coachs' role.


What is the Role of Divorce Coach?  Divorce is a major life transition.  It marks the end of one part of life and is the beginning of another.  A divorce coach helps to manage the pain and strain of changing relationships, while focusing on goals for the present and future.  Working with individuals to make the most of ones strengths, the divorce coach assists one in being at their best during the divorce process, and making positive steps to a new life.


Coaches can help in reaching the expressed goals of the clients.  Although every case is unique the following are some common goals that most collaborative clients are in search of:

       co-parenting effectively;

        working together for the best interest of the child(ren);

        considering the needs of each child.


        understanding of each spouses needs and expectations

        learn to be an extended family

        clear communication.

You may wonder, how can we reach these goals?  Often coaches can and are used to help offer the best plan of success in reaching these goals.  


The following are some things to think about or ask yourself when considering the use of a Collaborative Coach:

        Divorce destroys the family relationships.  It causes other family members to feel polarized.  

        What legacy will you leave your children if you handle the divorce poorly.

        Divorces are 90% emotional so why not address this so that you can be successful in your transition?

        How much did your wedding cost?  Do you expect your divorce to be less?

        How much thought did you put into your marriage?  Should you put less thought into the divorce?

        If you sold your house you pay 5% to a realtor.  Is your divorce going to cost as much as a realtor?

Using a Coach to guide you through the decision making process is much like using a map for direction.  We often know where we want to go but when we are going somewhere we have never been, it's important to have a guide to help get us there.  That is exactly what a collaborative divorce coach is for.

Posted by Barbara Bartlett

Mental Health Professionals help in divorce
May 21, 2009 2:29pm
A good website for information on the emotional divorce is  She is not in the Tulsa area, but may be of assistance in explaining the emotional divorce, and how it impacts the legal divorce that the attoneys are working on.
Posted by Barbara Bartlett
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